VACATION!

YES, you heard me right.

I am headed on a vacation to North Carolina to visit my best friend since diapers!

This will be my first time leaving Landon, so I am basically going to have to stay belligerent the entire time so I don't have a meltdown.

Rain is expected in NC, but have no fear...we can drink in candlelight.

I will miss this little face, and his cuddles....and everything about him. I deserve a break, I just have never had one.

Cheers to me starting 6 am tomorrow morning.

Trip to the "D"

Landon's father has a great family. I am very lucky to have such wonderful people around him. With Marc being in California I have taken it upon myself for him to still see them as much as possible. Last weekend we packed the car and made the 2 1/2 hour drive to Detroit for some family fun.

We arrived early Saturday morning to find his two cousins camped out on the couch anticipating his arrival and Big Mama's and Granddaddy's house.

Saturday was just a day of visiting family, and Sunday we were heading to the Detroit Zoo! I was secretly just as excited, for I have never been there either.

I was nervous how Landon was going to be, because we went to church before the zoo. So let's see ....he woke up at 7 and didn't take a nap until we we were leaving the zoo at 5:30 ....ya we had a few meltdowns but overall he did SO WELL!

Here he is ready for church with Big Mama

I won't bore you with the million photo's I have from the zoo. These were Landon's three faves....

The butterfly exhibit. He was fascinated with the butterflies around him. It was hotter than He!! in there but they would be surrounding you, and he was in absolute ahhhh

The seal and Polar bear exhibit was the last thing we saw, and I am so happy we made it.

and finally the favorite by far....the Polar Bear. Landon's absolutely FAVORITE book is Brown Bear, although he does have Polar Bear. He saw the bear and knew it was a bear, although he called it brown bear in his own Landon language, he was THRILLED

I didn't get home until 10 PM Sunday night, but it was a great little mini trip!

Fear

I am finally going to jump on board with Mama Kat's weekly assignment. 

http://mamakatslosinit.blogspot.com/

What am I afraid of? 

Being solely responsible for a life 24 hours a day, has a certain fear factor. If I mess up, I am to blame. If Landon is messed up, I am to blame. 

I am afraid I won't be able to parent both roles as "Mommy" and "Daddy" 

  Being a mother is something I can not even describe. Landon has truely changed my life, and I could not possibly fathom life without him.  Can I play the daddy role as well? I can throw a baseball, give the sex talk, you know...guy stuff. 

I am afraid Landon will never really know his father

I know Landon's dad loves him. I see it, I've witnessed it. I fear him moving to California is going to change everything. I had a great dad growing up, and I am afraid Landon is going to miss out on this. Having a great father is a wonderful thing, and I hope this fear never becomes reality. 

I am afraid I will never meet the "one"

Being a single mom, doesn't give me much (ANY) time to have a social life. Landon is 16 months old and hasn't been away from me for more than a daycare day. When I have free time, I am catching up on homework,  cleaning, showering, did I mention cleaning. When I do have a rare occurrence to go out, it is to relax, and sadly think how early I will be up the next morning. I realize my time won't come for quite some time to find someone. When I am finished with this degree, and settled where I want to live maybe the opportunity will arise. 

I hope so. 

With fear, comes hope. With hope, comes love. 

Wordless Wednesday.....